To the In-Between

Now Jonathan again caused David to vow, because he loved him; for he loved him as he loved his own soul. – 1 Samuel 20:17 (NKJV) 

To the in-between, the “it’s complicated,” the deep down and down low. 
To the not enough to be this and too much to be that. But still not quite. 

To the keeping quiet because there’s too much to risk. 
Or maybe nothing to risk because it’s ok where you are. Mostly.  

To the both/and, not either/or. 
To the don’t quite fit on the edges of the margins. 
To the passing, to the hiding in plain sight—an untenable combination of privilege and pain. 

To those whose obituary will list beloved nieces and nephews—and a longtime roommate, their lifelong friend. “She never married. A Confirmed Bachelor.” To those roommate-soulmates whose grief is dampened, discounted, dismissed. 

To the unrequited and the unexplored. To the “if only.” To the “I just don’t know.” To the “maybe it was a phase;” to the “one time thing.” To the later-in-life realizations; puzzle pieces falling into place, and they’re not sure what to make of the picture. 

To the one that cannot accept themselves—because it goes against how they were raised. To the one whose denial turns to shame turns to self-loathing turns outward turned against those who could lighten the burden and accompany the journey. 

To the never fully acknowledged: By God, you are fully seen. 
To the never fully understood: By God, you are fully known. 
To the never fully embraced: By God, you are fully loved.  

Prayer
To the God of the In-Between: Be with us in our uncertain and ambiguous places. Love us into courage and inner peace. Amen.

About the Author
Chris Mereschuk (he/him) is an Unsettled Pastor and the Founder of RevCJM, LLC, specializing in church vitality and Legacy consulting and coaching.