My Dazzling Gramma and Her Beloved Son

When Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the [clouds] were opened … and a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” – Matthew 3:16-17 (NRSV) 

Last year at age 91, my gramma won a beauty pageant. 

Her nursing home works hard to create a life-affirming environment for people living with dementia, like my gramma. On pageant day, their caregivers styled residents for this special event and invited family to attend. Gramma donned a dazzling red sequin dress and sported bold lipstick from her wheelchair.  

She doesn’t recognize us anymore, and a few years ago when she did know my dad, he was the target of her dementia-induced rage (if you know you know). In some ways, the nursing home staff is her family now. They love her well. She does tell us about us: her family forgot her; she lost us; we lost her. And that is hard. 

But sometimes the light breaks through, as it did on pageant day. When she saw me in the crowd, her eyes lit up. She called me to her and pulled my face to hers, speaking tender words that brought back memories of her love: “Hi baby. Sweetheart, where have you been?” 

Then she noticed my dad, and the clouds were opened in a moment that evoked the baptism of Christ. She took his hand and said with utter clarity: “This is my son, Jeffrey Smith, and I love him so much.”  

The recall was fleeting. Moments later, we were strangers, and her crown was a surprise again. But in that mystical moment I witnessed this reality: love transcends. Our hearts remember belovedness. 

Prayer
Holy one, break through to us today and every day, as a witness to the promise that love cannot be forgotten. Amen.

About the Author
Joanna D’Agostino is the granddaughter of a Beauty Queen and the Senior Pastor at Lakewood Congregational Church in Lakewood, Ohio.