The Fearful Listener
“I will listen to what God the Lord says;
she promises peace to her people, her faithful servants—
but let them not turn to folly.” – Psalm 85:8
I’m a great listener.
At least that’s what I’m told.
If a friend or family member needs a comforter, I’m there. Advice? Even better. Then I can tell them the latest wisdom I heard on NPR.
I’m not a great listener, however, when it comes to listening to myself.
When my body is tired, I work past midnight. When it’s time to chase another dream, I come up with one hundred reasons why reaching my last goal was good enough.
Lately, I’m trying to find rare moments where I can have an inner dialogue debrief.
In fact, as I write this devotion, I’m sitting in a quiet car, waiting for a friend in a parking lot because I realize I’ve been running from silence (and writing this devotion) all week.
Usually when we’re running, we’re running from a fear and not to a solution.
I don’t like listening because I don’t like the chance that my subconscious, or the Holy Spirit, will speak clearly and tell me I need to do something I don’t feel ready to do.
What if God says go and I want to stay? What if God says to end that habit I didn’t even realize was bad?
I’m afraid to know what I don’t know—especially because the God I worship is so revolutionary in the quiet.
Perhaps it’s time to turn to God and turn off the NPR—there might be a blessing in the quiet I didn’t know I needed.
Prayer
God, if I’m running, let it be from the stress of this hectic world and to your saving grace.
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Marchaé Grair is the Director of Public Relations and Outreach for the Unitarian Universalist Association and a member of South Euclid United Church of Christ, South Euclid, Ohio.