“‘Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.’ And he replied, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ And looking at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother, my sister, my mother.'” – Mark 3:32-35

Often as I visit different congregations I hear the church described as a “family.” I’m never quite sure about this — speaking of the church as “family.” I understand that it’s a way of saying we find, in church, friends, love and a sense of belonging. But sometimes all this talk of church as “family” does something else. It says to the guest, visitor, newcomer or stranger, “You’re not part of the family.”

Maybe I am unsure about all this because Jesus himself doesn’t speak of the family in a simple or unproblematic way. He challenges family and redefines it—radically. I doubt that it felt all that great to his mother and siblings when he looked around at a crowd of perfect strangers and said, “Here are my mother and brothers!” I expect they were perplexed by that, perplexed and probably hurt.

Really, Jesus explodes conventional notions of family. And as precious as my own family is to me, Jesus’ words are a needful stick of dynamite—especially  when “family” or “church as family” becomes in-groupy and exclusive, when the spoken, “Yes, we’re a family here,” carries an unspoken—”and you’re not really a part of it.” 

Jesus did not define family by blood or race, by shared history or time served, nor by biological relationship. For Jesus, obedience to God was thicker than blood. If church is “family,” let it be this kind of radically redefined family:  “whoever does the will of God is my family.”


Thank you Jesus for being so difficult, for challenging us, for being—so often– the question to our answers. Amen.

ddrobinson1111.jpgAbout the Author
Tony Robinson, a United Church of Christ minister, is a speaker, teacher, and writer. His newest book is Called to Lead: Paul’s Letters to Timothy for a New Day. You can read Tony’s “Weekly Meditation” and “What’s Tony Thinking?” at his website,