Jesus said: “Woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are laughing now, for you will mourn and weep.” – Luke 6:24-25 (NRSV)
Whoa, Jesus. What do you have against happy, wealthy people? This is America for God’s sake!
Are you a socialist, Jesus? All this hoopla about abandoning material possessions, common ownership, the meek inheriting the earth, doling out free food and free health care. Are you angling for a radical redistribution of wealth? Millions of decent people will lose their jobs and then where will we be?
Be careful, Jesus. That’s mighty inflammatory talk. I’d hate to see any harm come to you. Best to keep your politics out of the pulpit. Why not stick to spiritual matters and leave economics to the experts? If you alienate the rich, who’s going to fund your ministry?
Get a grip, Jesus. Maybe you need to take some time off. Set some realistic goals. Learn to thread the needle. This pie-in-the-sky, commonwealth-of-God business could only happen by divine grace and a total overhaul of the human heart. Good luck with that.
Sincerely reluctant to be yours,
All of us.
Jesus, how we wish this was satire!