When It’s Time to Let Go

Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me.” – John 20:17a (ESV) 

I recently tendered my resignation to my congregation after almost 10 years together.  

The boundaries and expectations that I have held strictly for other pastors to truly let go and move on in order to make way for what needs to happen next, suddenly apply to me. And it’s hard. 

How do I say such an artificial goodbye to people with whom I’ve shared the highest highs and lowest lows of human living? People who are far more aligned with me spiritually and politically than many of my family members and secular friends? Why-oh-why isn’t there a better way to let go than to stop conscious contact, as if pretending away the sacred decade we shared?  

I do this knowing we let go for one another’s good. I release them from needing me, and they release me from being needed. Not for a year or some other arbitrary length of time—sometimes church folks wait a year and a day to be in touch with their former pastor, circumventing their own grief or boundary work. In doing so, they miss out on opportunities to receive new leadership, forge new affections and trust.  

Even Jesus had to let go. When Mary Magdalene became the first one to see him come alive again, his response to her most natural impulse to hug him was, “Don’t cling to me.” There was something sacred at work, a process begun that was not yet finished. He was, in his own words, “still ascending to the Father.”  

We release one another in the spirit of giving each other space to keep growing. To understand there’s more than one person who can be trusted with our secrets, our sorrows, our tattered hopes and our shining agape. There is more than one “messiah” if you will—or no messiah at all but the whole, human Body of Christ, and whoever God sends next to be part of the particular one we have chosen to say yes to. In this scenario, we are all Christ and all the Magdalene—trying at first to hold on, then trusting the wisdom and growth in letting go.  

Prayer
God, hold on to me tightly, so I have the courage to let go. Amen.

About the Author
Rev. Molly Baskette is the lead pastor of First Church Berkeley UCC and the author of books about church renewal, parenting, spiritual growth and more. Sign up for her author newsletter or get information about her newest book at mollybaskette.com.