Sink

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God? … Deep calls to deep at the thunder of your cataracts; all your waves and your billows have gone over me. … Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise [them], my help and my God. – Psalm 42:1-2, 7, 11 (NRSV) 

This summer I taught my daughter how to have a tea party at the bottom of the pool. Where you blow the air out of your lungs and sink down to sit for a few seconds holding hands on the pool floor. 

Or really, I tried to teach her. She was stubbornly buoyant. And maybe a little afraid of emptying all her breath and dropping down deep. 

I know the feeling. The attraction of the shallows. The stubborn buoyancy that keeps me at surface level. And the fear of emptiness. And going deep. 

Like the psalmist, I long to drink from the stream of life the way a deer does. Safely, from above. Without even needing to get my hooves wet. 

And also like him, what I find there at the surface is all thirst and anxiety. It’s only when he’s finally knocked down by the crashing waves and sinks below the thundering cataracts that he can hear the voice of the deep calling to what’s deepest in him. 

At the bottom, his soul quiets. And praise rises like air bubbles from his mouth. Hand in hand with his help and his God. Even for a few seconds. 

Prayer
My soul longs for you, Living God.

About the Author
Vince Amlin is co-pastor of Bethany UCC, Chicago, and co-planter of Gilead Church Chicago, forming now.