Pie & Peace for Breakfast
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18 (NIV)
A lot of ink has been spilled about the difficulty of talking to family members at Thanksgiving since our politics have become so polarized. How did your meal go yesterday? How was the conversation?
Good news: there’s a morning after that conversation. There’s leftover pie sitting on the counter, and a fresh pot of coffee brewing. Nobody else is up, and it’s a perfect opportunity to start a conversation with your intractable father, avoidant mother, estranged sibling, or the uncle who has gone off the deep end. Or if your family has taken refuge in avoiding difficult subjects altogether, this is an opportunity to break that silence.
So-called “doorknob conversations”—the important conversations that people finally find the courage to have when they are parting from one another—can open the door to a new chapter in a stuck relationship.
Don’t know where to start? Here are a few possible prompts:
- One thing I appreciate about you is…
- Remember when we used to___?
- I’d love to tell you how things really are for me, and hear how things really are for you. Are you willing?
- I really cherish our relationship, and I want us to be able to talk openly so we can be closer.
- I know your faith is important to you, and mine is important to me. One thing I’ve learned from the Bible is______. How do you understand that scripture?
Paul said that we should live at peace with all people, if it is possible. That means it’s not always possible. But sweetened by pie and a brave start, what you say next could change the future.
God, emboldened by day-old pumpkin pie, a cup of Joe and You, let me begin.
Rev. Molly Baskette is the lead pastor of First Church Berkeley UCC and the author of books about church renewal, parenting, spiritual growth and more. Sign up for her author newsletter or get information about her newest book at mollybaskette.com.