Out of Order

[Jesus replied,] “So those who are last will be first. And those who are first will be last.” – Matthew 20:16 CEB 

After a whirlwind year of zigzagging across the skies, elite airline status landed softly in my lap. Early boarding. Free first-class upgrades. Lounge access. Priority everything. I knew it was arbitrary, but oooh, it felt so good to be in luxury’s bosom.  

The following year, Poof! The status disappeared. And suddenly, the elite glided past me in the stacked lines waiting to shuffle down the jet bridge into the tinier seats.  

I’m almost embarrassed to admit how bitter I felt to lose the extra perks. I knew the embedded inequities of “earned” status, but still I’d grown accustomed to its comforts. Noticing how quickly I’d acclimated to privilege was its own kind of spiritual discomfort. A subtle reorientation I hadn’t realized I needed. 

Jesus’s words aren’t a one-and-done flip of the script. They set the whole system on an infinite loop. First becomes last. Last becomes first. And then again. And again. Until the entire hierarchy starts to come undone.  

Losing that status didn’t just make my travels less convenient; it exposed how easily I’d internalized the illusion that I belonged at the front. It forced me to confront the part of me that craved distinction, even when I knew better.  

And maybe that’s the beginning of freedom. When we loosen our hold on privilege, we make room for a greater journey where dignity is embodied, not bestowed. Where humility is power, not pretense. Where grace is for all, not the few. 

God’s dream is less queued order and more beloved community in motion. 

Prayer
Holy Disruptor, unsettle me when I cling to the illusion of status. Unseat me when I settle where I shouldn’t. Untether me to find joy whether I’m first, last, or somewhere in between. Amen.

About the Author
Phiwa Langeni creatively invites others into transformational liminal spaces between what has been and what is yet to be. They currently serve as the Associate Conference Minister for Equipping Leaders in the Southern California Nevada Conference UCC.