Ordo Amoris

Jesus asked, “Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” The lawyer said, “The one who showed him compassion.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.” – Luke 10:36-37  

Catholicism has a doctrine called ordo amoris, which has recently enjoyed 15 minutes of fame thanks to Pope Francis of blessed memory. 

Ordo amoris translated is “order of love.” Vice President Vance parsed its meaning as, “Love and compassion start with family, then extend to neighbors, then nation, and last and least reach fellow human beings as such.”  

In other words: kin get the first fruits of our love while strangers, especially those in distress, get moldy rinds at best. 

Pope Francis corrected him in a letter to U.S. Bishops: “Christian love is not a concentric expansion of interests that little by little extend to other persons and groups. … The true ordo amoris that must be promoted is that which we discover by meditating constantly on the parable of the Good Samaritan, the love that builds a fraternity open to all without exception.” 

Unpopular opinion: It’s not just “other Christians” who engage in this kind of ordinal thinking about love. Lots of us put our kids, for example, above everybody else. Isn’t that our job? And who will do it if we don’t?  

But this kind of thinking confuses favoritism for love. Elevating and resourcing ourselves and our kin at the cost of more distant others in desperate need isn’t love. It’s fear disguised as virtue. 

Try this: Write down a list of everyone you love (it may take a while!). Then add to the list every person you encountered in your day today. Then add whole groups of people, especially those in distress: “incarcerated people, those living unsheltered, immigrants in detention, kids in foster care.”  

Now cut up the list, with one name per slip of paper. Order those slips of paper randomly. Re-order them again. Put a holy object (perhaps a cross necklace, a wedding ring) on a table, then turn those slips of paper into rays coming out from that sacred center. Pray with this ordo amoris.  

Prayer
God, you’ve given me so many people to love. How can I possibly love them all without running low? Show me.

About the Author
Rev. Molly Baskette is the lead pastor of First Church Berkeley UCC and the author of books about church renewal, parenting, spiritual growth and more. Sign up for her author newsletter or get information about her newest book at mollybaskette.com.