And all people will see God’s salvation. – Luke 3:6 (NIV)

When I was 10 or 11, I had a phone fight with one of my best friends. I argued it was a sin to be gay, and she said it wasn’t.

When she asked why I believed being gay was wrong, I paused and didn’t have an immediate answer. I mumbled something about how I was pretty sure it said so in the Bible. I also said another friend’s grandfather was a pastor, and if he said being gay was a sin, it had to be.

It wasn’t my finest moment. I was being rigid, unreasonable, and even brought another friend into the debate to reinforce my side.

I think of this memory often. It was my first theological debate, and thankfully, I lost. That conversation was the gentle nudge I needed to think beyond what I thought I knew. It was my first key to a world where queer people are beloved children of God.

I now identify as queer and am partnered with a woman. Without that early moral clarity from my friend, I wouldn’t be who I am today – fearlessly loving myself and knowing God fearlessly loves me too.

My friend could have written me off that day and would have had every right to. But I’m so blessed she didn’t. I’m unsure who I would be if she had only seen me for who I was and not for who I could be.

It’s no surprise my friend’s name is Grace. And because she embodied her name so perfectly, I learned what a precious gift grace is.

I once was lost. Thanks for sending Grace to find me.

Marchaé GrairAbout the Author
Marchaé Grair is a spiritual director, facilitator, and the Communications Director at Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism. Follow her work at