Disagree

Discussion Questions 

1. Read Proverbs 1:1-7. Then read the devotional below, “Disagree.” 

2. Have you ever approached the preacher to disagree after a sermon? How did it go? 

3. Have you ever been approached after discharging your professional duties (as a preacher or otherwise) to be disagreed with? How did it go? 

4. The power dynamics in the exchange Caldwell describes in the devotional (older male preacher, younger female parishioner) are fairly clear-cut. How might the power dynamics shift with different identities for the two parties? How would that affect (or not) how the preacher receives the disagreement?  

Devotional 

Let the wise also hear and gain in learning – Proverbs 1:5 (NRSV) 

Ducking and bashful, she approached in the handshake line of the church where I was guest preaching. Maybe 12, 13 years old, she stuck out her hand as I imagined her parents had been teaching her to do. “Thank you,” she said with a single shake. Then, looking up through lowered lashes: “Am I allowed to disagree with you?” 

Now, I know her pastor and her family, so I’m 99% positive she’s never been told to not disagree with the preacher. Nevertheless, she was clearly unsure, and for all I knew this was her first try at it. I wanted to do what I could to make sure it wasn’t the first and last time, but the first of many. 

“I wish you would!” I said. 

She told me. She was right. It was glorious. I told her so. 

Every Sunday, preachers get handed the mic and everybody else is expected to listen. That’s quite a bit of power—even if you’re not also standing several feet up in the air while wearing a special outfit that makes you look bigger than you are. 

Approaching a preacher to disagree can take real courage. Being listened to closely enough for someone to have an opinion on what you said is a kind of compliment. Every worship service is a rehearsal for life out in the streets. 

All of which means, in preaching or in life, if someone walks up to you looking uncomfortable and asks, “Am I allowed to disagree with you?” there’s only one answer worth giving.

Prayer
For every time I listened, thank you. For every time I didn’t, forgive me. Amen.

About the Author
Quinn G. Caldwell is Chaplain of the Protestant Cooperative Ministry at Cornell University. His most recent book is a series of daily reflections for Advent and Christmas called All I Really Want: Readings for a Modern Christmas. Learn more about it and find him on Facebook at Quinn G. Caldwell.