Beaming

Restore us, O God; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved. – Psalm 80:3 (NRSV) 

Scripture says that God’s face can kill you. “No one,” God declares, “can see my face and live.” That’s why God tucked Moses in a crevice before passing by, showing him only the divine back. And the few times Moses did see God’s face, his own face lit up so intensely that he terrified people and had to wear a veil. 

Yet the same Bible that says, “Beware God’s face!” also urges us to seek it. The psalms especially beg God to shine the divine face on us so that we might be saved. How can the divine face both kill and save? Wreck and restore?  It’s a contradiction.  

Or not. 

When my mother was dying, she couldn’t speak. I couldn’t either, at a loss for words at the prospect of her death. One night as I was leaving her room, I felt an urge to ask her forgiveness for … I don’t know … so much. And to say I loved her, that I always had. I turned back and managed to choke it out. I wasn’t sure she’d heard. But then, with effort, she lifted her hand to her heart, tapped twice, and beamed at me. 

I was stricken. In real pain. Her radiant face was killing me. I was happier than I can say. 

If anyone’s ever beamed at you like that, with love so terrifying, so beautiful, so resolute and generous that it kills you, kills the old you, kills every sorrow of a regret-laden past and fills you with the joy of Eden’s first morning, you know what I mean when I say it’s no contradiction at all. God’s face will slay you. Turned toward you, beaming, it will save.  

Prayer
Make your face shine on us, O God, that we may be slain and saved.

About the Author
Mary Luti is a long time seminary educator and pastor, author of Teresa of Avila’s Way and numerous articles, and founding member of The Daughters of Abraham, a national network of interfaith women’s book groups.