Creating an Intergenerational Church

by Marelu Greco
Director of Children’s Ministry
Walla Walla First Congregational Church
Walla, Walla, WA 99362

Becoming an “Intergenerational Church” may seem like a huge leap to many churches. This is especially true if a church has followed the silo model where classes, programs, and events are separated by ages: a nursery/childcare program and Sunday School classes offered to the preschoolers, a class for K – 2^nd grade, a class for 3^rd – 5^th grade, a middle school gathering, and a high school teen program. There are many benefits of this model, and the biggest one is that age-specific life issues can be addressed in a spiritual setting with support and application, shared together with others moving through the same life experiences. This is valuable, especially for teens to have a place that is safe, confidential, and respectful where they can be vulnerable, share from their hearts, and feel supported.

Sometimes in smaller congregations, the children and youth all meet together out of necessity because of smaller numbers of participants or a lack of volunteers to facilitate them. While there are benefits for this as well (older children helping younger children with the younger children seeing the older youth as mentors), the feedback I’ve heard from paid staff and volunteers facilitating a Sunday morning group of varied ages is that it is very challenging, often chaotic, and usually results in no one’s needs being met. 

Over my 40 years of being the director of children/youth and family programs in various churches where the silo model was preferred, I advocated for the children to not just be the future of the church but to also be the present of the church! I wanted them to be visible, involved, welcomed, and known now. The first result was that the children could sing and sign a song in the service, and the teens could do a report about their most recent retreat experience, or the performative model. 

Eventually it happened that each week the children could come into the service at the end to share a little about what they’d done during their Sunday School class. That made them visible so people attending got to see each week that children were a part of the community. Many churches are comfortable with this much kid participation, and I know it reflects a deep appreciation for the children and the staff and volunteers that lead their Sunday morning program. 

That was progress, but I thought there could be more. I recently heard the expression “cross generational” and realized that this model could provide a bridge to being an “Intergenerational Church.” Even though I didn’t know its name before, it was one approach I’d been using over many years to bring different combinations of the church family together.  

Having shared experiences with others creates a special bond: living together, traveling together, resolving an issue together, surviving a crisis together, playing together, singing together, and much more. Over the years, I offered activities and events at my churches that provided the opportunity to share something meaningful, productive, or fun with different combinations of ages. These activities gave the participants the opportunity to see each other as real humans, to build friendships, and to develop a feeling of safety with one another. A connection is formed that is more than just a Sunday morning nod and hello. 

I want to share one excellent example of this that Margaret Schaffter, the teen leader at my church, created for her class: Teens Interviewing Elders.

The intention was to break down any prejudices or biases that either group might have about the other. The teen leader identified an elder match for each of the teens. The teens devised a list of questions that were given to the elders a week in advance so they could reflect on them. The elders responded authentically about their beliefs, their health concerns, and their lives. It gave the youth the opportunity to see the diversity of Christian beliefs. Stories were shared that hadn’t been shared before; wisdom was imparted. Both groups got to see each other as whole human beings. The final product is a summary of the interview written by the teen with a photo of the elder and teen together to be put on display in the church and enjoyed by the whole congregation.

Another very successful and fun shared experience event at my church was the digging of holes and planting of a large number of new plants on the church property last summer. All ages of children used trowels, shovels, and their hands to dig the holes and help put the plants in the right place to create a beautiful landscape. Parents, elders, and all combinations of our community worked together for a couple of hours to get this job done. 

Other ideas that I’ve used successfully over many years involve bringing the middle and high school youth together with the children for special events. I’ve invited the older youth to come on Sunday morning to facilitate a class that they create for the children. I’ve had middle schoolers leading games and activities at a yearly “Fall Festival.” The children love seeing them as leaders.

On Sunday morning, we start with a “Sacred Circle” gathering that is facilitated by the children. It includes all the children from toddlers to 5^th grade. We gather for this experience before going to separate classes. My intention is for them to get to be leaders and take some ownership for their Sunday experience. We use “Helper Necklaces” that the children choose when they arrive so we know who is doing what job. The jobs include Altar Decorator, Breath Guide, Candle Lighter, Chime Ringer, Prayer Helper, Song Leader, and Yoga Leader. I’ve seen the children grow in confidence, and as the older children do the jobs, the younger children watch and become ready to lead. 

My church has a pastor that is very comfortable with children participating in all aspects of our church and a congregation that welcomes them. However, these “cross generational” experiences are still very beneficial, and I believe they help to weave the fabric of an intergenerational community. I’ll continue to find new ways to gather us in different combinations so we can learn from each other and grow deeper in our shared faith.

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