Connecticut clergy urge men to break silence around sexual violence

A group of male clergy gathered recently in Connecticut to share the message that “silence is violence” when it comes to sexual abuse.

Taking place in the wake of the Cornell University rape case reopening and the case’s impact on women who have experienced sexual assault, male clergy from the United Church of Christ organized the gathering and public witness on Thursday, Oct. 15, to emphasize their responsibility to speak up.

The Rev. Jack Perkins Davidson, senior pastor at Spring Glen Church in Hamden, Connecticut, led the gathering grounded in Thursdays In Black, a global movement for a world without rape and violence initiated by the World Council of Churches.   

“It is important for us to know that our silence is violence,” Davidson said to those gathered. “And that is why we are here today – because part of the harm is the lack of response out in society as a whole to this situation at Cornell, but also to situations across the country and across the globe.”

The group of around 10 male clergy included many UCC pastors and also had ecumenical and interfaith participation. The public part of the gathering received local news coverage, and the full event is available for viewing.

Men have ‘a particular responsibility’

The Rev. Kent Siladi, interim co-pastor of University Church in Yale, shared the biblical story in John 8 of the woman who a group of men brought before Jesus, accusing her of adultery. Siladi noted that Jesus created space for the woman to speak, and Siladi described the absence of the man affiliated with this accusation of adultery from the story.

“The man was missing, and most of the time he still is,” Siladi said. “Sexual violence is overwhelmingly committed by men. And yet the work of naming it, preventing it, and caring for those it harms has been carried mostly by women. Survivors have been doing the speaking for centuries. To tell you the truth, many of them are simply exhausted.”

This creates a particular responsibility for men, Siladi said.

“For those of us who are men – some of us sitting around the table today who hold pulpits and titles – have a particular responsibility here. When a male cleric says, ‘This is wrong,’ it can reach people who would wave off the same words from someone else. I don’t love that and I think it’s unfair, but it’s real, and I would rather use it than pretend that it is not there,” he said.

‘For the world and for ourselves’

The Thursdays in Black movement calls people to wear black on Thursdays each week in solidarity with the global movement resisting attitudes and practices that permit rape and violence.

Davidson described this as both public witness and spiritual practice.

“It is both a public witness, an opportunity to start the conversation and make sure the conversation stays at forefront, but it’s also about transforming my personal posture towards this topic to remind myself that this is something I need to be contemplating, reflecting on, considering,” he said.

Davidson emphasized two key invitations: first, for others to speak up and engage in accountability around sexual violence, and second, to join in the Thursday practice of wearing black “as a reminder both for the world and for ourselves.”

Attention like this to rape and sexual violence matters because of how silence can amplify the abuse of survivors and the perpetuation of these acts of violence, said the Rev. Karen Georgia Thompson, UCC General Minister and President/CEO. 

“The church has a role to play, as do men, in ensuring that there are effective avenues for prosecution, for raising awareness, and for preventing these crimes,” Thompson said.

More gatherings to come

This October discussion was just the beginning. In a round-table conversation at the gathering, Davidson noted that “it seemed like the thing clergy were craving was space to process and talk openly about this topic and name ways they have fallen short.”

He’s committed to keep initiating spaces like this, with plans to hold additional gatherings for conversation and education in November and December.

While this has started among Connecticut clergy, Davidson is open to grow these kinds of gatherings more widely. People interested in participating are invited to reach out to Davidson by email.

This issue is not one that will disappear – even if it leaves the current news cycle, reflected the Rev. Ian Oliver, a retired UCC chaplain who shared that he spent 40 years working on college campuses.

“Sexual violence is tough to talk about, but we can’t hide from it or wish it away,” Oliver said. “It continues when the news cycle notices and when it doesn’t. It’s here in our towns, our congregations, and our campuses. And we can create communities of courage to address it. As a male minister, I have the luxury to assume that I am safe when many to whom I have ministered do not. We can do better.”

View the recorded livestream of the Thursdays in Black gathering of male clergy.

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