Little Foxes
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards. – Song of Solomon 2:15 (NRSV)
Some little things aren’t little. Some are. Sometimes you can’t tell which is which on your own.
The offhand comment you can’t stop thinking about.
The interruption when you were trying to say something important, or unimportant.
The funny look, the slight slight, the forgotten detail.
You tell yourself you’re being silly. You tell yourself that you’re overreacting, or that you aren’t being fair, or that you imagined it. You don’t want to make a big thing of it. But I’ve got news for you: the fact that you can’t stop thinking about it? That means that whatever you tell yourself, this little thing is already big enough to be getting on with.
Why not tell the other person? If the relationship is trustworthy, why not trust it and say, “This seems so small, but I can’t stop thinking about it”? Why not say, “This is dumb, but it’s rattling around in my head and I want to get it out”? Why not assume you will be heard?
We’ve all hurt other people before. We’ve all overreacted before. If it’s the former, why not give the other person the chance to make repair? If it’s the latter, why not give the other person the chance to bear with you? Either way, you get heard and the relationship gets strengthened.
Either way, you catch the little fox before it can destroy the whole vineyard.
Prayer
Save us from the little things that devour. Amen.
About the AuthorQuinn G. Caldwell is Chaplain of the Protestant Cooperative Ministry at Cornell University. His most recent book is a series of daily reflections for Advent and Christmas called All I Really Want: Readings for a Modern Christmas. Learn more about it and find him on Facebook at Quinn G. Caldwell.