Hitting Bedrock

I believe that I shall see the goodness of God in the land of the living. – Psalm 27:13 (NRSV) 

There is going deep, and then there is hitting bottom.  

The 27th Psalm reads like the testimony of someone who thought they had everything under control, who spent hours a day standing in front of the mirror saying positive things, thinking that would equip them to leave the bathroom and take on the world. 

I imagine them saying over and over again, with as much bravado as possible, “I’m not afraid of those people. I’m not scared of that huge army. I’m not afraid of failure. I’ve got this!” Or something like that.  

But after trying unsuccessfully to say and pray the jitters away, the psalmist had to admit that they were afraid. That they couldn’t take on the world without help. Who were they kidding?  

And that’s when, after some time in the depths, self-affirmations became fervent prayers, which then became statements of hope and faith. Things like: “I can’t manage this, but God can. I know God won’t give up on me.”  

Deeper and deeper the affirmations-like prayer went until it hit the bedrock of belief: “I believe I’ll see God’s goodness here and in my time. I’m sure of it.” 

Shouted from the mountaintops, it sounds like so much bombast. Spoken from the safety of doctrine, it can sound like practiced piety. But whispered from the depths of the heart, from the pain of experience and the acceptance of human limitation, it rings of redemption and humbling, life-changing trust.  

Away from the noise of your life, down in the depths with the Holy, what do you believe?  

Prayer
May I go ever deeper into your goodness and grace.

About the Author
Vicki Kemper is the Pastor of First Congregational, UCC, in Amherst, Massachusetts, and a spiritual director.