I Want a Jesus I Could Beat Up

Peter began to rebuke [Jesus], saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!” – Matthew 16:22-23 (NRSV) 

Preacher Fred Craddock once suggested that the reason so many Christians fixate on the Second Coming of Christ is that they’re deeply disappointed in his First.  

First Coming Christ was such a wimp. He didn’t have it in him to empty a magazine on the bad guys. What did his sweet meek empathy accomplish? Nada, zilch, goose eggs.  

Give them instead the Second Coming Christ, the “prize fighter with a tattoo down his leg, a sword in his hand and the commitment to make someone bleed,” as an infamous megachurch pastor recently said. He also declared, “I can’t worship a guy I could beat up.” 

Peter doesn’t want a messiah he could beat up, either. He informs Jesus that he’s not meant to be Empire-fodder, not going to end up its mewling victim. Not you, Lord! You’re going to win! 

That’s fear and fantasy talking, pure projection onto Jesus. And it’s nothing new. Yesterday, it was a victorious king restoring Israel that his disciples clamored for; today, it’s a manly savior restoring the ’50s.  

A Jesus you can’t beat up would be weirdly hilarious were it not for the fact that whenever Christians get it into their heads that the road to heaven necessarily runs through pools of other people’s blood, actual victims actually end up dead, in stomach-turning piles.  

For their sakes, I’m sticking with the Wuss who didn’t have it in him to kill. You too, I hope. 

Prayer
For the victims, and so we won’t create more, we follow you, merciful Jesus. Refuse our projections, tear up our enemies lists, and help us love despite increasing ridicule and danger.

About the Author
Mary Luti is a long time seminary educator and pastor, author of Teresa of Avila’s Way and numerous articles, and founding member of The Daughters of Abraham, a national network of interfaith women’s book groups.