After Matthew

by Mary Luti | published on Sep 4, 2026

Jesus said, “If a sibling sins against you, point out the fault when you two are alone. If they listen, you’ve regained them. But if they don’t, take one or two others with you. If they still won’t listen, tell the whole church. If they won’t listen to the church, treat them like a gentile and a tax collector.” – Matthew 18:15-17 (adapted) 

My Bible notes say that in this passage, Matthew is laying out a process for “church discipline.” That feels judgy, way too much like keeping people in line. It’s not something I associate with progressive congregations. 

Which isn’t to say that mutual accountability in church isn’t important. It is. But it’s also tricky, and when we’re clumsy or careless about it, or use it as a little power trip, we often end up doing more hurtful, condemning harm than good. No wonder the idea of “disciplining” each other makes us cringe. 

But notice this: Matthew places this instruction right after the parable of the lost sheep and the searching shepherd. The immediate context of discipline turns out to be a vast mercy. In that light, discipline feels more tender and less judgy, like bringing someone home, not setting someone right.  

Even that final instruction to treat a resistant sibling like a tax collector lands differently. It’s Matthew who’s writing this Gospel, after all. Our forebears believed he was the same Matthew Jesus called from his tax collector’s booth to follow him. After Matthew, no one is beyond the reach of grace. 

The practice of discipline doesn’t condemn the wayward. It acknowledges a need to start over. It doesn’t despair of anyone. It assumes a graced capacity for responding and repair. It doesn’t run out of chances. It assumes that when you’re finally ready, Mercy will be, too.  

Prayer
Help us approach each other like shepherds eager to restore, not judges eager to condemn.

Mary Luti About the Author
Mary Luti is a long time seminary educator and pastor, author of Teresa of Avila’s Way and numerous articles, and founding member of The Daughters of Abraham, a national network of interfaith women’s book groups.