Bullying or Shaming Others is never Cool (or Profitable)
Written by Bentley de Bardelaben
March 12, 2012
Conservative media host, Rush Limbaugh,
has made national news for provocative and misogynistic comments he made about
Georgetown University law student, Ms. Sandra Fluke. Ms. Fluke recently spoke
before members of the House of Representatives about why she believed “free”
contraception was essential for women’s overall healthcare. About one month ago, CNN’s Roland Martin
tweeted an incendiary and homophobic comment during the 2012 Super Bowl about
men who may have found appealing an ad featuring soccer player, David Beckham,
in his underwear. And nearly eighteen
months ago, Dr. Laura Schlessinger found herself in a kerfuffle when she went
into a racist rant shouting the” N-word” eleven times within five minutes to an
African American female caller.
Fortunately each offender did apologize,
but not before suffering some form of push back from the general public that
they are well compensated to serve. To
date, Rush has lost twenty program sponsors and counting. Roland is on indefinite suspension from any
CNN broadcast. And Dr. Laura, citing the
violation of her “First Amendment Rights,” lost sponsors as well and decided to
end her show after her contract expired.
Apart from the horrors of chattel slavery when bullying was legal, at
what stage did we decide that bullying or shaming other human beings is
permissible? As citizens of a 21st
century society, have we not yet learned this crucial lesson?
As an ordained minister, I am vastly aware
that “be kind” is still a message
taught in many homes, schools and religious buildings across the globe. As a child I heard similar sayings from my
family, my elementary and Sunday school teachers who understood their role in
shaping behavior around public discourse.
For example, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything
at all.” Or, “Do unto others as you
would want them to do unto you.” Now I
am certainly not a person who would be described by others as prudish. However, although I have made my fair share
of mistakes in relating to others, I must realize that I am solely responsible
for my actions—positive or negative, as are the individuals cited above. I believe they also know this to be
As a person who has spent countless hours
as a diversity trainer, I understand that once an action has harmed another’s
heart and soul, you can never undo the damage.
The bottom line is: bullying or shaming others is never cool! It is perversely cruel. Moreover, it is detrimental to the spirits of
both parties. And the cost of such
behavior can hurt the wounded person for years.
As adults we can learn skills to get through these dark, sick
moments. Our children, on the other
hand, are not so well equipped.
Therefore, let us step up as adults and leaders to counter hate messages
that undermine others, no matter where the messages originate and to whom they
are launched. Together we must demand
better from ourselves, our families, and our leaders no matter our race,
gender, sexual orientation or political affiliation. Remember, each first step toward the change
we seek begins with ourselves.
The United Church of Christ
has more than 5,277 churches throughout the United States. Rooted in the Christian traditions of
congregational governance and covenantal relationships, each UCC setting speaks
only for itself and not on behalf of every UCC congregation. UCC members and churches are free to differ
on important social issues, even as the UCC remains principally committed to
unity in the midst of our diversity.
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