Women have often waited a long time in what Hollies calls “big houses that have not been big homes.”  They have waited to have their worth recognized, and to be given their due. Both of these--recognition and validation--are necessary parts of healing. 

Fear is the largest impediment to our doing things differently; it forces us to remain locked in unfulfilling habits and patterns of relating. The first step for women in healing the wounds of domestic violence is an admission of their need for spiritual counsel and peer support.

 It is virtually impossible to share nurture and support without being nurtured and supported in return. We are in community by “divine design,” says Hollies, and God expects and desires us to support and affirm each other. Living in community, our burdens and challenges can become our blessings and strengths.

Crying out loud is often the first step. But it is never the only step. Any emotion that we feel we cannot express has the power to control us. Giving vent to pent-up emotions allows them to get outside ourselves. Choosing to release the past by speaking about former “unmentionables” means everything.

Letting go of unrealistic hopes and dreams causes us to reassess our priorities. This transition period offers no clear-cut paths or answers – and no guarantees of what we might find on the other side. While the journeys through the back alleys of the unknown can be filled with angst, eventually the sojourn will prove highly preferable to the “comfort” of being uncomfortable.

Feelings of unworthiness and other demons born of domestic violence and other abuse can be daunting. But we can choose to defeat them. Overcoming them is a conscious choice that begins with connecting and community, and continues as far as the human spirit takes it. Choosing to engage in dialogue, Hollies says, “allows the light and life of grace” to touch us.

 A woman of force is one who recognizes and celebrates her personal power on a daily basis. She is loving unconditionally, living spiritually and working purposefully – knowing that she is girded daily with God’s strength and vigor. A woman of force is one who is living the abundant life daily, and is not tied to the limitations of her past. Every day she chooses to say “Yes” to the call of God on her life. It is not easy every day. But every day she says “Yes.”