1 Corinthians 16: 20-21

"All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss. I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand."

Reflection by Lillian Daniel

In worship, during the passing of the peace, we ask everyone to shake hands, saying "Peace be with you," to which the other person responds, "And also with you."

There are, however, some variations on that greeting, such as "Hey, did you get a new haircut?" "I like your Christmas sweater," "How about those Bears?" and "Good grief, it's ninety degrees in here. No wonder we can't make our budget." To which the other is still advised to respond serenely, "And also with you."

There are congregations that can remember exactly when this practice was introduced and how foreign it seemed to interact with someone, perhaps a stranger, in the middle of worship. Some people can also remember members literally leaving the church over it, in protest. Although I believe that was mostly in New England.

While I wouldn't ever leave the church over the passing of the peace, I do appreciate the profound awkwardness of it. Some people greet each other with such warmth, it makes the rest of us feel left out. Others are so sullen and lock-jawed, you wonder if they are passing the peace under duress.

And then there are the denominational gatherings where passing the peace devolves into this huge, sloppy, huggy-wuggy love fest among strangers, which seems to go on long enough for Jesus to return. But who would notice him?  Unless he was offering free hugs. In which case, I want a new religion.

In a letter full of the importance of boundaries (some reasonable but some appalling to us today) the apostle Paul urged all his church members to greet one another with a holy kiss. He did that as part of a tradition that believed that the Holy Spirit moved through physical touch.

I remember one recent widow who told me that the passing of the peace was the only physical contact she received all week long. The call to pass the peace with a stranger reminds me of God's hospitality to us all. Even in the awkwardness, the spirit still moves.

But having spent most of my adult life in New England, I have to admit, I am extremely grateful we ratcheted it back from a holy kiss to a handshake.

Prayer

May peace be with my neighbor, the friend and the stranger. And may God's peace be with me as well. Even when someone I don't know is trying to hug me at a church event. Amen.

About the Author Lillian Daniel is the senior minister of the First Congregational Church, UCC, Glen Ellyn, Illinois. She is the author, with Martin Copenhaver, of This Odd and Wondrous Calling: the Public and Private Lives of Two Ministers.

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