Responsible Parenting

March 16, 2011

Excerpt from 1 Corinthians 4:14-16

"I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you as my dear children.  Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me."  (NIV)

Reflection by Kenneth L. Samuel

Parenting today seems much different from parenting when I was a boy.  My mother spoke to my siblings and me with authority and often meted out punishment to any of us who challenged that authority.  When I became an adult, I read the assertions of juvenile experts who said that strong discipline in one's upbringing leads to violent tendencies in adolescent and adult life.

So I asked my mother why she raised us with such an iron fist.  Why didn't she allow us to explore and determine our own boundaries?  Why was she so insistent that we be respectful and in order at all times?  Why did she not allow us more leverage to express our own opinions and to voice our disagreements with her and with other persons in authority?

I will never forget her response.  "Honey," she said, "I had to raise you myself in the slums of New York City, and I knew that if I didn't discipline you first, you would be  disciplined later by the police, the courts, and the prisons of New York.  I disciplined you so that policemen and prison guards wouldn't have to."

Notwithstanding the assertions of the experts, I think there is much value in the way my mother and others like her chose to raise their children.  As a pastor, I have seen for myself the strong correlation between lack of decisive parenting at home and the staggering rates of incarceration in the black community.

Paul considered himself a parent to the church at Corinth, and like my mother, he did not practice permissive parenting.  Paul was acutely aware of the moral dangers and ethical perils associated with arrogance and pride among Christians.  Determined not to allow these vices to take root and destroy the family for which he felt responsible, Paul spoke to the Corinthian church with the stern authority of a loving parent.  And I suspect that his strong discipline worked for the salvation of his spiritual family.

Prayer

Dear God, help us to love our families, but lead them as well.  Help us to understand that sometimes love is manifested best in discipline.  Amen.

About the Author
Kenneth L. Samuel is Pastor of Victory for the World Church, Stone Mountain, Georgia.

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