I Do Not Understand My Own Actions
March 8, 2011
Excerpt from Romans 7:15-25
"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."
Reflection by Martin B. Copenhaver
Often we excuse our own actions by focusing on our intentions: "Well, I know this didn't turn out too well, but I had good intentions." For Paul, however, his own good intentions only make his behavior that much harder to take. He is left with this anguishing gap between his intentions and his actions, leading him to rail against himself: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."
One worshiper could always be counted on to offer the same prayer week after week, "Lord, sweep the cobwebs from my soul." Each week the same prayer, until finally another worshiper pleaded, "Dear God, kill the spider!" Sometimes we confront the truth that there are no easy fixes for what ails us. Something more drastic is required.
So Paul asks, "Who will rescue me?" Most of us would like to think that we can rescue ourselves with our own best efforts. For the most part, we put our trust in whatever can be added to our to-do list. In this approach Jesus becomes something like a coach, encouraging us to do our best, teaching us and showing us how it's done. But Paul has seen too much and tried too hard to believe that is enough. Our intentions may be consistently good, but our actions… well, it's a spotty record at best. So Paul knows that he needs more than a coach. He needs a Redeemer.
Prayer
Paul's question is my own: "Who will rescue me?" But so is his prayer of gratitude, "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord."
The Book of Acts: A God is still speaking Bible Study, part 3 by Martin Copenhaver is now available.
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