Criticism
January 8, 2011
Excerpt from Ephesians 4:7, 11-16
"Speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head." (Good News Bible)
Reflection by William C. Green
Like the fable of the blind men and the elephant, each of us can believe we've got hold of the real thing. How different the world feels to each of us! Arguments miss the point and persuade no one when this isn't taken into account. We get hung up on what seems logical to us. We look at the world through the lens of our own experience.
Too often our ideas of love and other people make others feel they're not who we wish they were. Love, like criticism, can't be taken seriously when our differences are not respected and getting along presumes that others should see things much as I do if only they'd be reasonable. While faith speaks of our oneness in Christ, this embraces all kinds of difference and contrariety, much as any parent knows, just as any member of the church council knows.
Speaking the truth in a spirit of love is not soft-pedaling. It's remembering that when your views upset me, or mine upset you, it's because they trigger something in our respective experiences that runs deeper than reason and logic. We're the best critics, and the best receivers of criticism, when we remember that our differences cry out for respect before they can be resolved.
Prayer
In your spirit, God, keep me from trying to resolve differences I haven't respected. Amen.
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